不知道。

我很愛你，可是我真的好怕自己不是那個他。

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2月14日

距離情人節還有大概兩個禮拜。有些戀情十四天內可以在一起。可是我愛的她就得要時間來證明我對她的愛。今年情人節還是算了吧。明年的情人節?

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愛一個人是怎樣的?

如果你愛一個人,你會否盡量減少和其他男生談天? 還是，拍拖了也有個人的空間和自由?有時，你說你不是很喜歡她和其他男生聊，她罵你說她有她的朋友和自由。有時，你假裝大方，但其實你很不喜歡她和他聊，你應該怎麼辦? 她會感受到你不舒服，然后顧你的感受檢點些嗎? 同時，你給她自由，她喜歡怎樣就怎樣。但到頭來她埋怨你不在意她，她和其他男生聊你也好像沒有東西這樣。所以說戀愛不是一個普通的東西。當你遇到一個懂你心的，真的要珍惜。有時我自己在反省，如果我有一個女朋友我應該怎樣? 不准她和其他男生聊還是任由她喜歡?你不喜歡不舒服，但不可以那麼大男人。好矛盾。如果平時你是一個很多男生都想認識妳的女生，一旦你愛上他你會怎樣? 捍衛自己原有的生活還是為他改變一些，減少和男生聊? 這真的是男女朋友的一個大考驗。很多因為這而分手收場。很多認為為他而改變就等於會給他吃住你。錯，你肯為他改變因為你很愛他，他一定會知道和珍惜你。因為他也很愛你。

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Smile :D

I'm happy when she replied this to me. :D ily.

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We are playing emotion :DD

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我沒事。

剛看了一些東西，心又再次不舒服。但幸好夠理智，告訴自己她又不是你的誰，自己是沒有資格不開心的。我沒事! :)

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Because of you.

I will stop my games and just to reply you. Because I care you more than everything. Yes, many boys falls on you, but I will prove to you that I'm the most sincere and loyal to you. Let you feel that I'm trustable. I wanna make you feel that when chat with me, you are very happy and comfortable one. It's my job to make you happy.

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完美無暇的年初二。

這一年的新年可以說是最完美的一次。他們說今年屬豬的桃花運和運情不錯。我已感受到那的運了，但另一個"緣" 呢? 我還可以擁有嗎?希望可以，保持樂觀的心態吧! 才兩天，我妹，弟和我已得到26封的紅包。好開心。今天他們來我家拜年，但其實我們是來開武林大會。幸虧我爸和媽會做，有給他們紅包。今年我的運氣真的不錯。感謝主。武林大會後我和他們一起用晚餐並玩電腦。快樂的年初二這樣就過了，好滿足有今天。和他們在一起我真的好開心,好舒服。他們給我帶來好多歡樂。主，我還想和你聊心事。我和她的關係漸漸恢復以前那樣。好開心。當我也抱著開郎的心，不敢抱太大的希望。但我自己心知我是很愛她的就夠了，雖然有時我好固執想擁有她，得到她。但我也領悟到一切平常心啦，不要胡思亂想就行了。你開心，她開心就好。主會幫我們安排一切。劉小姐，我愛你!

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又是一個考驗。

沒想過她會加回我，那時真的蠻興奮和開心。但我好怕我的毛病會復發。我害怕看到她和其他男生聊到很開心，雖然我知道這樣想好自私。當她普通朋友? 表面上我做著。但其實。。。我真的好怕。幾個月了，該忘記的我也忘了，但她還在我心裏。怎樣踢怎樣打也走不開，可能人是騙不了自己的感覺。她是一個很多人都想擁有的女生，我喜歡她我憑什麼得到她? 帥，不夠。富，不夠。距離，更不用說，我一定不夠和她的同校的來。靠真心打動她? 她看得出嗎?可能這輩子她都看不出。所以人家說女朋友不可以太美，平凡就好。我越來越同意。如果我可以好像一些人這樣，可以嘗試接受就好。當我不能，做不到。我定要認定了，才行動。所以我對我愛的人是真的。如果一切可以好像昨晚的夢多好，我真的情願不要醒回來。和她拍拖的日子真的好美好。現實有可能發生嗎? 她會感受到我對她的愛嗎?她會接受嗎? 主，幫我。我可以老實說我真的很愛她。幫我。她愛我的日子還會遠嗎?她肯接受我的日子還會遠嗎?我還可以有機會嗎?

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Fire mountain !

Can I shout loudly ? I HATE YOU !!!!!!! I can't stand on you, really. Why I can't chat happily with dad, and can't with you. I really really very tired. When be with dad I feel very relax and comfortable. Do you know my feeling when I wait you during school dismiss. One o'clock and you almost two o'clock only come and fetch me. Between that time I don't even know how to manage it. When I called you you told me coming. Okay I wait. Second call, coming. Actually you're doing other things. Phuck! When you busy you can tell me so that I can go parade walk walk or else, but you dont. COMING!!!! Sometime when I went other place you suddenly come you wait me for so long you scold me ! Just like last year when I waiting you I wanted to go toilet but I scare you suddenly come so I endure. That time lots of car so can't stop there. But where are you? I can't stand of it I go toilet. You came. When I entered the car and haven't explain, you immediately scold me like hell. That time I don't feel like explain, I prefer keep quiet. At the same time I felt disappointed and fed up. You asked me why I don't add you at Facebook. I think if I do so, the only place that I can stress out my feeling also no. I feels so stress ! I hate all your blames ! That's why I prefer stay in my room and less be with you. I don't like to talk to you. Idk la. Now I wont fight back la , you wanna scold just go ahead la. I will listen what baba said. I won't fight back. Remember, I don't fight back just because of my dad ! I don't want give a chance to you to blame him ! I love him so much !

You're right. I'm like that. That's why I feel fed up with myself. I hate myself.

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那些日子。

幾個月了，說長不長，說短不短，但對我來說很長了。我好想你，我還把妳放在我的心裡。我知道你對我沒東西了，這感覺我也不打算告訴妳或其他人。你准叫我不要這樣啦。你叫我忘記你，放棄妳，這對我來說才是殘忍的。你給我單方面默默暗念你更好更舒服，我不是傻，我只是尊重我自己的感覺。啊boy還是很喜歡那個啊girl。

主，我相信你會給我那機會。我相信。

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女人。

當我和你的朋友聊天時，我好想問她妳的狀況，好讓我更了解你。但我不敢，我好怕她告訴我現在你有一個男朋友了。 :(

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我自己。

現在我所說的話全都是真心話，可是如果我面對你和你說，你是不會聽進耳的。可能真的要有一天我離開了這個世界你們才會相信我所說的每個字每一句的真心話。媽，我不是不愛你，不是不會孝順你。可能我不可以好像其他的孩子那麼肉麻，我有自己的方式來表達。那方式是你感受不到的。沒關係。我知道你們很疼我，給我還多東西，但有時我實在忍不住。我知道我脾氣不好，但你說到我是一個很不愛家的孩子時，我很痛心 。你們說我常常當你們是司機，但你們是否知道每次我出時我會想想先，會不會麻煩到你們，逼於無奈才請求你們。你們卻說我不懂事，要你們載出載進。唉。看來你們對我好絕望了，沒關係。我已準備了，如果可以我盡量不會麻煩你們，努力儲蓄錢，越多越好。我的將來靠自己了。

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I'm stopping myself.

I miss her so so so much. Last two days when yumcha with Daniel, we had a brother chat. I express all my feeling toward her out. I told Daniel how I will loved her, why I will loved her. I miss her. I wanna open her profile and view, but always I stop myself. I don't let myself do so. I do miss her but I didn't emo at all. I just slowly at there waiting still patiently waiting the chance. One day, God give her to me. I still waiting this chance hopefully. I love her. This year just hope more focus on spm but if can have her on my side my life will be more wonderful. I pray*

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Spm year

Tmrw gonna back to school. Form 5 school life. This year I think I didn't have much time to do anything but studies. Study is very important for my future. It's just a starting step that one day I gonna be a rich man, but It's still very important. I will more focus on studies. I promised myself if next year I still loving her, after spm I will know her and chase her again. But I will study well first. God, please help her for her studies too. Help her manage her times of tuition and studies. Help her please. And hope she can be happy in her 2012 every single day. Wish her good lucks. Lovesss.

Lsc.

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I need a listener.

My life is too lonely. I don't know who I can talk too. I'm so afraid. I'm getting don't know how to communicate with peoples dy. Since can't be with her, I getting quiet. I don't like to talk, I don't like to share my thing to people dy. Is just like stay in my own life. Sometime I do feel mood swing, I do need listener. But who ? I don't know. Sometime I do still miss her. But I had accepted the fact so I treat nothing. Just because of this, my life is too simply and normal. None can pull me. I'm getting lazy on my life. The short hair pretty girl... Sometime you keep cheering yourself, the feeling really so suffer. You will feel so alone. I'm afraid on that situation. I have no more confidence. And none love people who without confidence. It's ugly. I'm in the deep now, I really need climb up back. I need time. I'm so stressfull. I have no one can talk to. I love her, I miss her. But all this feeling I just can keep all in my heart. Please help me God.

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